FADE TO BLACK

No eyes were more expressive

when your joy was still intact

But when the pain engulfed you so,

I watched your eyes go flat.

As if a shadow hid their beauty,

as if your spirit could no longer shine;

I closely watched your eyes those days,

I studied them with mine,

and when you could no longer hide your pain

I watched them fade to black

and I am forced to face the truth

that we will never have you back.

Those last few weeks you graced this earth

everything about you changed.

Your smile was false, your light was gone

no expressiveness remained.

As if the inate core of you went cold,

as if your sweet and loving side

was suddenly hollow and without joy

and the deepest part of you had died.

And you could no longer hide your pain

so I watched you fade to black

and I cry now when forced to face the truth

that we will never have you back.

A friend who is my very age,

but wiser and more enlightened by years

just told me "He smiled for us as long as he could.."

and you did, you tried so hard to hide your fears.

As if pretending to pretend could make you well

as if with a smile you could make us believe

that you were fine and your soul was whole,

that you would never purposefully leave.

And yet instead you made the choice

to allow yourself to fade to black

and I have learned to accept the truth

that we will never have you back.

October 2, 2007

For Peter